Reverie

Just when I think I'm steady
And release the heavy reins of past,
You come back and haunt me.

My breath is caught-
Stuck in my throat,
Mid-sentence,
As I come to terms
With what your twinkling eyes
Regretfully convey.

We are transported;
Rather, forced by the rain
Into that little world we built
From the doors of hope,
Cement of promises
And bricks of trust.

Our cottage is a wreck-
Still charming as ever,
Singing with the moonlight
Of 6 months of sunlit roses,
While vines of poison ivies
Grow and adorn its cracks.

The rubble flies and hits me,
Dampens my blood...
Oh, it's a memory!
But I toss it behind;
No, I kick it away
As far as I could.

I fear my heart will bleed
If I let it read,
If I let it feel,
What is engraved on those stones...
I don't want a disaster:
I don't want me, wanting.

It's a date I had forgotten,
Maybe just torn hastily
With my pages of us;
But clearly, you hadn't
And in your carefully chosen words,
It comes to me and taunts me.

It ascends through my body
In shivers, slithers and lightning;
I finally give in to you-
We cannot pretend anymore
With a poker face screaming pain,
So we laugh and we smile.

As if 2 years is a long time-
Almost longer than infinity,
And an year in heartbreak
Can bury our truest song
That once echoed in a garden
Surrounded by engraved walls.

Its dusty stones sharpen
And like meteors on a quest,
Smash into us-
All at once, full force;
Oh why oh why did we throw away
Our dear armor for this encounter?

And our rebellious eyes burn
Our regretting throats dry
Till we turn around to save
The wounds we stitched over and over
From reopening and remembering;
We have a history.

This second is gone and so am I;
Even this is the past now.
Yes, I confess-
You stole me back for a moment;
I was so sure,
But now I'm unsure...

I don't know about you,
But I wrap it up,
Bravely, once more,
As a bittersweet reverie
And run back, sighing,
On to my better love.

~Swathya